Score One for the Nerdy Girls

Do you remember Lisa Loeb's reality show #1 Single where she was looking for a nice Jewish boy to marry? As a little nerdball myself, I always hoped she would find a decent guy. Episode after episode we were disappointed...sigh.

It took a few years, but our wishes have come true. Lisa got married to Roey Hershkovitz--the music supervisor from the Conan O'Brien show. If you want to read more about it, click here. Maybe he'll Stay. har har har

Madonna + Jesus Sitting in a Tree

Is anyone else slightly disturbed that Madonna is seeing a Brazilian guy named Jesus? Um, okay.

Then, I found a picture of him...



A-ha! I got it. Play on.

What? No Flowers? Being Almost Dead Sucks

You may have noticed that there has been a lapses in my posts. I've been clinging to life with some sort of avian bird flu/Piven mercury poisoning for the past week. I even stayed home from work on Thursday and was almost silent for the whole weekend. As you know, it takes a whole lot of germies to get me to that state!

I was shocked to find out that as I lay in bed hacking up phelgm alongside my sickie husband, that one does not get presents when you are almost-dead. Shouldn't we send flowers for the almost-dead? Let's shake on it. Next time, you better come through, people. If not...okay, nothing will happen, but I like flowers, okay?

So if you are wondering what helped me make my miraculous recovery, I will show you my secret to health and happiness:



Seriously, what is there not to like about Devastatin' Dave, Turntable Slave? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Perfect in every way.

If you start feeling sick, just click your heels and repeat: ZIP ZAP RAP!

Return of Lady Hector

I used to go to the gym more regularly but I've been missing for a variety of reasons. Do you remember all the infamous stories about one of the other regulars at the gym who was always dressed like a tranny clown? I certainly have fond memories.

Well, I am happy to report that my friend and roving gym reporter Cladeedah snapped a few pictures of the hotness known as Lady Hector. You should be able to pick her out for her pink bandanna and black tights. She's pretty conservatively dressed, but you can tell by her can-do spirit that it's the real Lady Hector.

Sooooo Tired

Okay, which of you fed me some sleepy time pills when I wasn't looking? I have so much to do and plan for our upcoming Europe vacation. My problem is that I have no energy. The problem is that I have been sleepy for a few days now.

Holy Beyonce Nipples, Inaugural Fashion Goes Awry

Like many of you, I have been looking forward today for some time. Sweet regime change at last! With such a dashing new couple in the White House and the support of so many celebrities, I was looking forward to all the great fashion.

Retarculous nation, we were let down. I am begging some gay dudes to fly to Washington straighten this mess out.

Imagine, you literally have your pick of any designer on the planet to make custom outfits for you. You can pick absolutely anything, so you go with:

1. A dress and matching coat made out of your Grandma's old couch. I appreciate the attempt to use a cheerful color, but it is not flattering for such a pretty lady:







2. A busted wedding gown with sparkly-scrunchy flowers. sigh.

As the New York Times described it: "For Tuesday night’s round of balls, she chose a fluffy, many-layered gown by a 26-year-old designer named Jason Wu. The dress had a one-shoulder strap and was flecked with organza flowers and crystals."

When have the adjectives "fluffy" "many-layered" "flecked with organza flowers and crystals" ever been used to describe a beautiful dress? Um, never.







Here's what kills me. She has worn some great outfits to other inaugural events, like these gems:





Unfortunately, inauguration fever is spreading. Beyonce was elected to sing "At Last" as the first dance song with a completely see-through top. Oh yeah, the headlights were on. I couldn't find a picture, but here's a video. See also picture #14 in this slideshow.





By the way, did anyone tell the Neighborhood Ball organizers that Etta James is still alive? Why couldn't she sing her own damn song? You probably could have convinced her to do it in a see-through top too. hot.

Hopefully this situation will resolve itself. By that, I mean Michelle Obama, not Beyonce. She's hopeless. retarculous.

Vote for Mitch Hedberg

In case you don't know him, Mitch Hedberg is a really witty comedian who tragically passed away in 2005 from sudden heart failure. I've seen his Comedy Central special and it's hilarious.

Comedy Central is having a voting contest amongst their more popular comedians so they will show the top 20 vote-getters specials on January 25. Go and vote here. You can only vote once a day but you can vote every day.

I'm counting on you to vote for Mitch. You won't be disappointed.