Thursday, October 30, 2008

The Void that Bethany Left: Day 8 (afternoon) - The Memorable Lunch Errand with Claudeedah

Claudeedah needed a smog check, so of course I volunteered to tag along. After entering the “Smog Shack” in the wrong direction in a one-way aisle, she had to make a three-point turn. While going in reverse, she rammed into a pole (pictured below) causing significant cervical pain.

After the shock of the accident, I exited the vehicle and was forced to witness the booty crack of “Joe the Smog Shack Guy.” I thought low-rise jeans were so 2006.

The Void that Bethany Left: Day 8

Times are tough. The election is starting to wear me down, and I am losing my mind. November 5th cannot come soon enough. Over the weekend, I pulled myself away from CNN for two (2) hours to go the movies and watch "The Secret Life of Bees." Per Roger Ebert, "Bees is an Enchanting Parable of Hope and Love," however I found myself laughing outloud at the most inappropriate when a character committed suicide, and when the lady sitting approximately seven (7) seats from me was crying so hard she was practically squealing. I clearly wasn't in the right frame of mind to see "Bees". I should've seen High School Musical 3....

Monday, October 27, 2008

The Void That Bethany Left: Day 6

S&M, Heather and Bethany were all out today, so work was a total sausage-fest. If not for this video, my day would have been totally devoid of any joy.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

The Void That Bethany Left: Day Two (afternoon)

A race war is brewing. Cladeedah and SDM have had no choice but to ban together in the aftermath of Chris' highly offensive and racist comments. Without Bethany's presence, no one has been able to diffuse the racial tension. Okay, I'm exaggerating a little bit, but not very much. The point is: we need Bethany! It's very hard to not tear up when I walk past her empty office.

The Void That Bethany Left: Day 2

You totally missed it. Your friend Chris told me I wasn't a real minority because I could pass for white and because I didn't talk like a minority. Oh, also, he informed me that I've never been discriminated against. You seriously have to get back here so he can enlighten you with his wisdom as well.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

The Void That Bethany Left: Day 1

The office has been strangely quiet today. JB is sullen. We miss our Bethany already...

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Welcome Guest Bloggers!

I am going to Puerto Vallarta for some serious recreation starting tomorrow until November 1! Since I will have both my hands occupied with margaritas at all times, I have invited two of Dmitri's most elegant ladies to post on my blog to keep you people happy: SDM and Cladeedah.

I expect you peoples to be on your best behavior. If not, well, I won't do anything because I can't chase away both my readers...That's besides the point.

I know that SDM and Cladeedah will do a great job, but you have to promise you won't love them more than me!! Pinky promise with sugar on top?? awesome.

Monday, October 20, 2008


Hello? Is this thing on?

Season Wrap Up: 10-4

Sports Fans, our softball season came to a close last Thursday with two hard-fought victories--including a come from behind win!

After losing 4 games in a row, the team was anxious to turn the trend around by playing some quality ball. We knew that we were tied with our opposition for second in the standings, so we had to dig down deep. To make matters worse, the other team was full of whiners and d-bags. It's tough not to upset or flustered when they are heckling and generally being jerkwads. Again, let's remind everyone that this is recreational softball. Wearing tight baseball pants, tapping the plate and saying nasty things is the furthest thing from a good time.

We won the first game by a close margin. In the second game, we had some defensive misplays that allowed them to go ahead early. We fought back with some great hitting, discpline at the plate and great fielding in the second half to pull it out in the very last inning! What a great finish! We celebrated by drinking the beer left in the team cooler. Now THAT is recreational, folks.

Bethany highlights: After striking out (boo) at my first plate appearance, I settled down and made some good contact. Over the course of my season, my hitting improved, but I definitely need more practice before next season. I never did catch a fly ball in the outfield. I seriously need to work on positioning myself better, but, again, with some practice I hope to make a better showing defensively next season. Hopefully I can stay in the outfield.

Stay tuned.

Please Don't Die New Roses

Great news, fair readers. I won 5 roses on ebay. I lost the bidding on some of the original ones I wanted, but I found some great substitutes. As long as they make it (cross your fingers) they will be lovely additions. Most of them are really fragrant, antique style roses. My rose garden is going to be so great.

Introducing the new additions:

Danae--Hybrid Musk

Baronne Prevost--Hybird Perpetual

Desprez a Fleur Jaune--Climbing Tea-Noisette

Princess Varona--Buck Shrub


Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Happy Birthday to Me!

For those of you who remembered my birthday today, I will love you forever. For the rest of you hoodlums...

Of course, splurging all three meals today doesn't bode well for the weigh in tomorrow. Oh well, you only live once. Live it up!

Monday, October 13, 2008

My New BFF

Aren't you jealous? Thanks to my new BFF Christopher Columbus, I have the day off! Okay, so his efforts lead to the enslavement and death of countless native peoples, but I said I have the day off--paid! I'm sure that makes it okay.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Dodged a Bullet

I participated in a charity bowl-a-thon this afternoon. As part of the fundraising efforts, they had a bunch of silent auction items. I had an opportunity to bid $450 for 2 premium bottles at Pure at Caesar's Palace. For those of you not familiar with Las Vegas bottle service, to get a table reservation you have to buy bottles of alcohol at exhorbitant prices. The estimated value of the package was $1200.

Since my birthday is on Tuesday, I was sorely tempted to buy it and go out with a bunch of friends. While they were counting down the end of the auction I saw that I had bid outbid and I literally had 10 seconds to make a decision.

I passed on it because I thought I could do a lot with $450. When I got home and talked it over with my husband, he knew it was a bargain... Did I make a mistake guys?

Thursday, October 9, 2008

eBay Roses Practically Mine

My bids on eBay for the rose bushes are going well. About half of the auctions will end tomorrow. All of them will end by the end of the weekend. Hopefully nobody swoops in at the last minute and steals them from me. I included two more pictures--but you bitches better not outbid me...or else.

So Close But Yet So Far: 8-4

Sadly, folks our softball team lost two close games tonight. A few mistakes here and there added up to just enough runs to do us in. I think we were actually winning in both games at one point. We even had an in-the-park homerun in both games: one from a our star left-fielder and one from our female third baseman!
Unfortunately, we had bad breaks at just the wrong times. The other team hit at the right timess on offense and made some spectacular defense plays. We were good, but they were simply better. We only have two games left. We face a pretty tough team so keep your fingers crossed that we can bring our game up and go out on a high note this season!
Bethany highlights: I did a better job getting the bat more squarely on the ball. The problem is that most of the time I hit it directly at the perfectly-positioned outfielder...argh. I even struck out once! I felt soooo embarassed to strike out at this point in the season. I went to the batting cage but it looks like I still need some more fine tuning. On the defensive side, I badly misjudged all of the fly balls hit to me in the outfield but I did throw the ball in well for the grounders. Overall, a mixed night for me. Keep your fingers crossed that I can do a good job in our last games.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Too Pretty to Stop

Friends, I have a problem. I love roses. You don't get it--I mean I loooove roses. My husband put in really pretty raised stone flower beds in our backyard and I filled them with roses. Unfortunately, the transplanting process was too hard on a few of them and they didn't make it. sigh
Now is the start of our best growing season, so I want to fill in the few spots with new roses.
Believe it or not, I am currently bidding on some roses on ebay. There are two sellers from Texas that organically grow roses and sell them very reasonably. I put a picture of an old garden rose I am currently winning called Commandant Beaupaire. The best part is that these ladies sell old fashioned roses that you can't find in your local garden centers. They are hardy plants with great fragrance.
It will probably take another year before my rose garden really comes into its own but I am really excited. You are all invited to come over and smell the roses. Oh yeah!

Tuesday, October 7, 2008


Folks, I am struggling hard core with my diet. Tomorrow's weigh in looms large for me. I don't really have an explanation or an excuse to offer. All I can say is that bad habits are hard to change. This is really a crossroads for me. If I can get back on program, then I think I can do this for life. If not, I'm doomed to gain the weight back. Of course, I said goodbye to my pride long ago, so I'll keep you posted.


Sunday, October 5, 2008

Maybe a Teensy Bit Less Than Expert

Has anyone else been watching the Grizzly Man Diaries? Animal Planet put together 8 hour-long episodes using Timothy Treadwell's video, diary entries and still photographs from his 13 seasons in Alaska.

For those of you who, like me, don't know Timothy Treadwell, he was a recovering drug addict that spent 13 years going up to Katmai National Park to "study" grizzly bears and foxes. In reality, he mostly hangs out, names all of the animals and gets in their faces to talk to them like they are people in a creepy high voice. Evidently, he and the US park rangers didn't see eye to eye on the whole "study" aspect because the rangers thought he was pestering the animals.

The sad part is that in 2003, his flight was delayed, so he and his girlfriend stay longer up in the park than ever before. That year had a particuarly bad salmon run so many of the bears were hungry. His last video recording shows a bear (that he doesn't know) behind him repeatly going after a dead fish--showing you hungry the bear is. That night one or possibly two grizzly bears attack and partially eat Treadwell and his girlfriend. There is a never-released audio recording...

During the series, Treadwell goes on and on about his expert knowledge about grizzly behavior. Since we all know that he is eventually attacked and partially eaten by a bear, it is fascinating to see him gloating about his advanced knowledge. It is strangely compelling to watch him get closer and closer to his own death. If you want to tune in, they show new episodes on Friday nights about 9ish. It's a bad decision kind of thing. Enjoy.

Update: His girlfriend and I are from the same hometown: Valparaiso, Indiana. retarculously weird.

Friday, October 3, 2008

Awesome Debate Skills

This pretty much sums it up folks.

Thanks Claudia.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Agony of Defeat: 8-2

Sports fans, we all feared this day would come. We lost our first softball games tonight. We were competitive in the first game but we pretty much accepted the inevitable and lost by 11 in the second game.
So, what happened? We were short players so everyone except for me had to play both games. It was tough sitting on the bench and keeping score because I wanted to get back into the game.
The bottom line is that other team was chock full of powerful hitters. I was talking to their catcher and she told me that they had been playing together a long, long time. They couldn't get a space in a more competitive league so they settled on playing in a recreational league even though they are much better than a recreational-level team. Most of their players were really friendly and nice so it was difficult to have hard feelings.
Bethany highlights: Unfortunately, not so many highlights tonight. I walked twice, popped up and got on base on a fielder's choice (but no strike outs). That's it, I am going to the batting cage! The most frustrating thing is that I had two good opportunities to catch pop ups behind the plate: the first time I couldn't get around the umpire fast enough and the second time I had it right there in my hands but it just bounced out. aaaaaaaarrgh. My only contribution was spying on the other team by chatting while taking their jello shots from them for me and my teammates. Oh yeah! I'm good at drinking sports fans! Go Team!

Confidence Workout Tunes

Okay, readers. I have a brilliant idea that depends on your help. I want to put together a confidence-building, uplifting workout playlist on my iPod. I got this great idea when I doing cardio last night listening to Mary J. Blige sing Just Fine.

Here's where you come in. I would appreciate suggestions for some good, kick-ass songs to put together a new playlist since I am tired of my current workout playlists. I'm depending on you, fair readers. Don't let me down!

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Big Chicken

If you imagine a cold, black heart, then you have my self-portrait on the left. Oh yes, I am a big chicken.

I was so upset about my looming weigh-in that I skipped it. I just couldn't handle seeing a gain on that damn monitor. Nooooooo!

I need, need, need to get back on the diet bandwagon but I just can't seem to get it together. At least I'm back to exercising regularly, but I need to do everything so I can finally get my 10% Weight Watchers keychain!

I Feel Better About Myself Already

I have to weigh in today, which may be a big disaster, so I don't feel so good. You know what always picks up my spirits? Other people's bad decisions.

Here's a fantabulous example: Jennifer Hudson is engaged to Punk from the show I Love New York 2. Huh? I am not making this up. Click here for another article about it.

You may wonder whether the Oscar-winner has rocks for brains by getting engaged to a rejected VH1 reality-show contestant just as her first album comes out. Don't get upset, folks. Just think about how rational your decisions seem right about now. Aaaah, that feels good, now doesn't it?