Baby Steps

I weighed in at Weight Watchers on Wednesday. I have been trying to get back on track so I was relieved to be down a little over 1 pound. Honestly, I was hoping to be down a little more, but I will take any loss.

I need to focus on getting back to basics, making good decisions. Most people really know what they should and shouldn't eat. I just have to focus on not going crazy.

I'm not making any promises but I will be taking wobbly baby steps toward my goal. Stay tuned!

You Too Can Be Glamorous

Although the all-time model of glamour is Liberace, there is still hope for plain Jane types out there like you and me. For example, take a look at the junior high school yearbook photo of my fave Shauna Sand:

Compare this with her ultra-glamorous self today:

Oh yeah! Who wouldn't look great in lucite platform heels? I'm wobbling out to get some now.

Still Undefeated: 8-0

Our softball team picked up two more victories last night. We were especially happy because Lochsa Engineering beat us pretty badly in both games last year. They were our toughest competition to date but we didn't panic and played together. The other great thing is that we were missing a bunch of players too so we only had a few substitutes.

The key to our success is discipline at the plate. Since we always have decent pitching (thanks guys!) we can depend on keeping the offensive walks down to a minimum. This really keeps the other teams' scores down. When we walk the bases full, it only takes a few good hits to rack up a bunch of runs.

Bethany highlights: I played both games. I got to play at second base and in left center field. I liked playing both positions but I definitely felt a little rusty out there after being behind the plate so long. My knees have been feeling good so hopefully I will get more opportunities to play out in the field. My hitting was so-so. I kept popping the ball up. Once I finally got the bat on the ball, I had a good hit. I just need to get my butt to the batting cage so that I can do it more often. All the girls on our team do a good job at the plate--one of the girls on the other team actually told me that when I was on base! Now that is retarculous...

Rhythm Nation 2008

Luis and I went to the Janet Jackson concert last Friday at Mandalay Bay. It was so awesome! She did every single song any fan could ever want. She started off with Pleasure Principle and Control all the way through to Rhythm Nation to end and Runaway for the encore.

Here was the complete song list:

“Pleasure Principle”

“Control”

“What Have You Done For Me Lately”

“Feedback”

“U Want This”

“Alright”

“Miss You Much”

“Never Letchu Go”

“Come Back To Me”

“Let’s Wait Awhile”

“Again”

“So Excited”“So Much Betta”“Nasty”“All Night”“Rock Witchu”“Together Again”“Young Love”“Say You Do”“Don’t Stand Another Chance”“Doesn’t Matter”“Escapade”“Love Will Never Do”“When I Think of You”“All 4 You”“Don’t Know What You Got, Till It;s Gone”“Call on Me”“That’s The Way Love Goes”“I Get Lonely”“Funny”“Anytime, Anyplace”“Discipline”“Black Cat”“If”“Rhythmn Nation”“Luv”“Runaway”

Her show had everything you would want in a big Vegas-style show: large moving set, pyrotechnics, dancing, real singing (no lip syncing) and a live band. We had a great time.

Here are my tips for going to a concert in Mandalay Bay:

1. Buy the tickets at the desk in Mandalay Bay rather than Ticketmaster. The employees will help you show you the seat map and help you find a good seat. I asked them for help and they made a great suggestion in the middle price range. Plus, we got our tickets right away so I didn't have to worry about them getting lost in the mail. You'll also save a ton in handling and shipping charges.

2. You must, must, must get there several hours in advance. Parking is an absolute nightmare. The lot fills up fast with the regular casino activity, especially on weekends. I really suggest that you get there early and go to dinner. They also have a great little bookstore that is usually pretty empty if you want to browse. That way you don't have to be totally stressed out circling and looking for a space at the last minute. We learned the hard way after we missed the beginning of the Kathy Griffin show after we had to walk quite a ways from the Excalibur--2 casinos down from Mandalay Bay since it was so packed for a 9/10 pm Friday show!

Enjoy the shows at Mandalay Bay! I hope they are as good as Janet my Indiana girlfriend!

Armpit Hair Fiesta

I did a little research into the most popular pages on my little blog. Believe it or not, you guys are totally into armpit hair. Oh yeah! I always aim to please, so here you go loyal readers:

Crackberry Addiction

I got a pink Blackberry Curve on Saturday and I'm already addicted. I love it! I have instant access to my work and private e-mail addresses as well as my calendar.

One of the best parts is that the system is not connected to my work computer so I can cut down substantially on the non-work-related searches that I end up doing at work.

I'm still figuring out how to work it, but I'll figure it out eventually. Hopefully I can figure out how to take pictures and e-mail them to the blog. I can't wait until you see all the retarculous things that come across my path on a daily basis.

Return of the Shocker

Back by popular demand, another suggestion for proudly displaying the Shocker.

Special thanks to Miss S. the new Retarculocity staff photographer! She's hard at work to bring you all the latest retarculous images from around Las Vegas. Stay tuned, bitches.

Your Day Can't Be This Bad

I've had plenty of clothing issues--splashing water on myself, spilling food or drinks on myself, gapping clothes, broken zippers...the list goes on and on. Take heart that you are not this guy:

Put 2 More on the Board: 6-0!

You read that right, sports fans! Our softball team remains undefeated at 6-0. We readily defeated the Rainmakers last night. They were a bunch of lawyers from the Richard Harris law firm. Although it is frustrating to lose so badly, it is not good form to yell at your catcher, heckle your own teammates and argue with the umpire who is barely paying attention. This is especially true if you are losing by more than 10 (or 20 runs in the first game).

Bethany highlights: I played second base in the first game last night. My defense wasn't exactly a highight until the last play of the game when I actually made an out. Hopefuly the coach will give me another shot because I actually liked playing in the infield. I had a better night at the plate: I got on base every time and never got another runner out. That's right ladies and germs--I batted 1.000! They overthrew me at first and I kept on going allll the way to third. I told the other team captain (who was playing short stop) that I wanted them to score it as a triple. Of course, his "scorekeepers" were some chicks chatting in the dugout and drinking beer.

The rest of the team did well too. Our hitting is really coming along. All of the players (except for one of the guys shockingly) can get the ball into the outfield. We are also disciplined at the plate so we get tons of walks. If we actually get a team with a decent pitcher it will be more of a test. Our defense is slowly improving. We are learning to play together. So far so good...

Public Transportation in a Nutshell

Just When You Thought It Was Safe to Go Back

I am making an effort to get back on the Weight Watchers bandwagon. I went to my meeting last Wednesday feeling pretty good about my chances at the scale. After all, I'm up quite a bit so I should expect at least a small loss--right?

You'd be so wrong, sister. I went up again. sigh. I only went up .8 lbs so that's not so bad. Plus, I know that it always takes a few weeks before the results of activity--good, bad or otherwise--show up on the scale.

I'll be going back this Wednesday. The week started well but this weekend was pretty rough. Hopefully, I can at least stop the trend and get the swing in the right direction. I need your help folks! Cross your fingers...

2 More in the Win Column: 4-0 Overall

On Thursday, my softball team won both of its games by a pretty comfortable margin. The real key to our victories has been that we have 2 solid pitchers that can reliably throw strikes. This team didn't really have an established pitcher and rotated a whole bunch of people in and out. In fact, one lady was rolling the ball in. Oh man, even I can do better than that.

Our umpire was sighing and yawning so he wasn't exactly a stickler for the substituion rules so he let them bring people in and out. He also let some girl from the other team bat within 4 people she first got up. What killed me is that she was terrible! I guess the umpire assumed the other team couldn't possibly be cheating if they were using the girl in the pig tails that was an automatic out.

The other highlight was the other team's heckling. The main target was their own team members. I felt bad for some of the girls coming up that I was encouraging them since some of the guys were being dumb and mean. My guess is that they were trying to be funny in front of their friends, but...uh...no. For example: they tried to make fun of one of our team members who was wearing an Oregon Ducks shirt. They kept yelling stuff about salmon and snowboarding. WTF?

We are halfway to matching our total wins for the entire last season. Keep your fingers crossed!

My Kind of Tournament

You better not even think of heading down to the Silver Nugget with your knee pads to compete with me. They might as well make the $500 check out to me now. Money in the bank, people!

Throw Out Those Sweats

Since it is Saturday morning, some of you may be heading out to do some errands like me. If you are, put those sweats or jeans back in the closet. I have found a true example of comfort and style, my new favorite: Shauna Sand. Believe me, there were tons of images to choose, but I really liked these two because the see-through leopard shirt was supposedly for a Toys for Tots event (no joke) and the other "dress" is self-explanatory. Enjoy your weekend!

Undefeated

We had our first two softball games against Community Bank last night. We smoked 'em, folks! I don't remember the actual scores but it wasn't even close. Everyone was hitting and fielding well--especially for a first game. I reprised my role as catcher-extraordinaire. My goal is always: to not embarass myself. Well, sports fans, I achieved my goal. I did a decent job at the plate and even tagged someone out at home.

Even better, everyone on the team is really nice. (we even got another land use attorney-sooo awesome) It is a really fun, positive atmosphere because everyone tries hard but doesn't get up in anyone's face for making a mistake. I've been on a number of teams over the years and team chemistry is vital to having a good time. Obviously, I would rather win games than lose them, but it's soooo important not to have j-holes on your team. Of course, a cooler full of beer in the dugout doesn't hurt things either.

I'm looking forward to the next 7 weeks. Don't worry, I'll give you all the updates.

Big Flaming Disaster

Like always, I have to learn my life lessons the hard way. I have not been so good about going to my Weight Watchers meetings so I went on Wednesday to face the music....I was up 4.2 pounds....oops. We had a substitute leader and she asked me if I had been on vacation. I told her I had been on a diet vacation. We had a laugh and then I slinked to the table to sit there during the meeting without bursting into tears.

Okay, so I have learned that I cannot play hooky. I need to get back on the wagon hardcore! I have to tell you that once you get off the diet path, it is hard to get back on it. Honestly, I feel like I have to completely start over.

I would appreciate any positive diet vibes that you can send my way, bitches!