Saturday, June 7, 2008

So Tired Yet Not Sleepy

Have you ever had the experience of being too tired to sleep? I have been having trouble getting to sleep for the past week. So, I turned to the source of all knowledge for the cure: the Internet. People, there is some awesome medical advice written by crazies and weirdos just ripe for the pickin'.

Here are some of my favorite insomnia cures I found and my general reactions:
1. Rub your temple with cat fat. (WTF? Where do you get cat fat? I think killing an innocent kitty would keep me up for different reasons)
2. Eat chicken cooked with milkweed. (Isn't milkweed poisonous? so weird)
3. Smoke a mixture of black tobacco, toad powder, and honey. (My personal fave)

Given the choice between kitty butchering, putting myself to sleep permanently and smoking something--I choose...(drumroll please).....SMOKE SOMETHING INVOLVING TOADS!

As a side note, late night infomercials are soooo awesome. Currently, I am watching a fantabulous commercial for a Time Life treasury of 70s music hosted by Peter Fonda. Operators are standing by right now for my call!!

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